Well, I made it through the first week of Sober September...still sober. To be honest I thought it would be a cake walk. I'm not a heavy drinker. I like a little wine at dinner or a couple bevvies on the weekend, but that's really about the extent of it. Boy was I wrong. The first week of September really put me through the gears and I honestly didn't think I would make it out in one piece.
To start, my husband left his job last week and took a huge leap and is now working for a new and very promising start-up company. I know it's going to be great, but definitely a giant stress given I am no longer working. Fear of the unknown for sure. My oldest daughter started school on Friday; the first day of JK. I'm so proud of her but it was definitely bittersweet and I was really itching for a glass of red to take the edge off. But I stayed strong. Friday was also my baby's 1st birthday. Again I was overjoyed and saddened at the same time. My little turkey is growing up way too fast for this mama. On top of all these new beginnings was one devastating end.
On Friday one of my best friends passed away on the same day that my daughter started school and the little Turkey turned one. Needless to say, I'm a bit of a mess and all weekend I've been struggling not to self-medicate with alcohol. Do I feel better today? Yes & No. I'm so excited for Miss Stella as she's loving school and Alice took her first steps after her birthday party; so I'm over the moon happy. But every time I have a moment of quiet my heart and mind go back to Amos; I can't believe he's gone. And that's when I want a drink. A drink to numb those feelings, a drink to toast his life, a drink for Amos.
But I'm dry and starting a new week....